I've heard preachers use this text as a validation as to why God expects people to work hard so that they can finally obtain salvation, but I could never go there. 

I just didn't have it in me. 

It seemed like the harder I tried, the worse I felt; and the more I worked at it, the more difficult it became for me. I finally gave up the race because I KNEW in my heart that I would never be able to compete. 

Some people hang in there, grit their teeth, and hope that somehow they will make it to the end...and at least they can say they tried...if they only try harder. I wasn't like that. 

I absolutely KNEW (without the shadow of a doubt), that I would NEVER get there...and that if it were up to me, I would throw in the towel and stop banging my head against a proverbial wall. I was too spiritually exhausted to even care. 

If heaven was a prize, and it was only for those who finally pulled themselves up by their own boot-straps, I was out. My boot-straps were broken...

It took me years to understand that these battles belong to the Lord. Our battle, our race, is to fight the good fight of faith...to focus on Jesus, and HIS ability to empower us to run. 

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When I focus on myself, and MY running ability, I don't see how I could ever be saved. When I focus on Jesus and His ability to empower me day by day, step by step, inch by inch, I don't see how I could ever be lost. That thought keeps me wanting to continue running the race...