One of my earliest memories is of holding my mother’s hand on my first day of school. I was so nervous as I entered the classroom that I wouldn’t let go. The warmth of her fingers reassured me as my heart pounded in my chest. When I felt scared and alone, she was my lifeline and my security.
I was reminded of that day a few years ago as I sat in a dark room, once again holding my mother’s hand. The silence was deafening as I strained to hear the muted words coming from the dehydrated mouth of a woman whose body had been ravaged by cancer. This time my mother held on to my hand, seeking reassurance from its warmth in her
time of distress. The comforter had become the comforted.
Those were heartbreaking days. One moment I was praying for a miraculous recovery, the next for the end to come quickly. I was also haunted by God’s conspicuous absence. What I would have given during those long, languishing hours for his still, small
voice of calm.*