Hello ,

"I don't know what to do!" Her call to me was more of a plea than a statement, as I walked up the gravel; driveway that led to her home.

I'm a State Highway Patrol Chaplain in the State of North Dakota, and it is my honor to serve the men and women troopers that work tirelessly to keep our roadways safe.

One of the tasks that I infrequently perform is called a "death notice." When someone's loved one is killed in a motor vehicle accident, the officers sometimes call on me to go with them to the deceased victim's family to let them know what has happened.

I got the call on a sunny, summer afternoon. A gentleman had been killed on his way home from work, and it was going to be our unpleasant duty to share the news with his wife and family. 

It's the task of the officers to share the news, and the task of the chaplain to be there as a spiritual support to the family that is left behind. To say that I usually feel inadequate to the task at hand would be an understatement. 

This particular time was no exception. I learned (prior to visiting their home), that this couple had been high school sweethearts, and that they were about my age. 

My heart sank as I wondered what I could say that would bring any amount of help to the tragic situation. 

I parked at the end of their long driveway, and began making my way towards their home, wearing my vest with the large, yellow Chaplin logo blazed across the front of it. 

The widow was standing by her home, and when she saw me she called out in my direction, loudly, mournfully. 

"I don't know what to do." She said it over and over again, as she sobbed raggedly in my direction. 

Words escaped me. You think you're prepared for something like this after you've trained for it. When it happens, you realize that no amount of training prepares you for the real thing. 

I kept my eyes focused on the wife who had just lost her husband and best friend. 

"What do I say, Lord?" I asked. 

"Open your arms, Mike" came a thought to my mind. 

I kept my eyes on her, and spread my arms widely. She stumbled forward towards me, and began to wail loudly. "I can't live without him. I don't know what to do." 

She fell into my embrace and sobbed for what seemed like 5 minutes. I said nothing. Truthfully, I couldn't have said anything, because I was quietly crying myself. 

I moved to break the embrace and she said, "Please just let me get myself together before you let go." I held the hug for another minute, her body relaxed, she pushed away and softly spoke words that I will never forget. "Okay. This is what I needed. I am calm now, and God is helping me to know what to do."

I hadn't spoken even two words during the entire time. 

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

Romans 12:15

I still marvel at God's ability to help us to know what to say, and what NOT to say in the moments when we need them most. The greatest gift that we can ever give to anyone, if the gift of our presence. 

During the holiday season, that gift of "presence" is better than anything that we could wrap up in tissue paper for some people. Loneliness is rampant this time of year, and some people just need a shoulder to lean into, a soft place to emotionally land. 

How can God use you to be a beacon of love and care for someone who may be struggling.  

Let me encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to help you to be mindful of ways to reach out to someone else who may be hurting. 

Have a great day and God bless!

Pastor Mike / The Open Word